February 1, 2005

Media Advisory: Valentines Day Story Idea

What: Valentine’s Day story idea Who: Heidi Reeder, Boise State relationship expert When: Contact her at your convenience at 208-426-2404   With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, readers’ thoughts will naturally be turned toward relationships, especially romantic partnerships. But what if you’re single on Valentine’s Day? Is there a way to face the day without resentment or those “down in the dumps” blues?   Heidi Reeder, a communication professor at Boise State and an internationally recognized expert on friendships and other relationships, offers a few tips for making Valentine’s Day meaningful no matter what your situation. She is available to speak with the media on a variety of relationship topics, or you are free to run the attached article in print or on your Web site.   Reeder has been quoted in top magazines such as Men’s Health, Psychology Today and Time and was recently a featured guest on NBC’s Today Show. Her research on cultivating positive relationships has been published in leading communication journals and she is currently working on a book titled “Conscious Communication.”   For more information, please contact Kathleen Craven, Communications Specialist, at 208-426-3275 or kcraven@boisestate.edu.  Single on Valentines Day? Create Your Own Love Fifteen Ideas for a Meaningful Valentine’s Day for Singles   By Heidi Reeder Boise State University Professor of Communication   Research on relationships shows that love consists of three primary characteristics: intimacy (feeling close and connected), commitment (making a decision to see the relationship through) and passion (feelings of excitement and desire).   But what if you don’t have a partner on Valentine’s Day? Can you still have a meaningful, love-filled day? Absolutely. Below are 15 ideas for creating intimacy, commitment and passion on Valentine’s Day — all without chocolate, flowers or a date.   Intimacy. Intimacy occurs when we communicate openly with others. We share of ourselves and accept and support from others in return. This concept is considered by many to be the most central element of love. In order to experience intimacy on Valentine’s Day, do one or more of the following: 1.      - Call the sibling, parent or child you feel closest to and have a good talk 2.      - Invite a good friend, male or female, to lunch or coffee 3.      - Surprise someone with an unexpected favor or gift — maybe tickets to a game or an offer to help with a project 4.      - Sit down with a cup of tea or glass of wine and write a letter to an old friend 5.      - Ask others how they are today, and really listen to the answer   Commitment. A big part of love is making the decision to stay in a relationship and see it through. This involves loyalty and dedication to a relationship we believe in. By dedicating yourself to the things, causes and people you really value you can experience the rewards of commitment without a partner. You might: 1.      - Sign up to have money automatically donated each month to the cause of your choice — perhaps to cancer research, public radio or your local animal shelter 2.      - Sign up for a fruit-, beer-, coffee- or book- (etc.) “of the month club” 3.      - Sign up with a trainer to help you with a new workout program 4.      - Set up a savings plan to purchase something you really want 5.      - Buy a plant or adopt a pet   Passion. Passion typically refers to the attraction and excitement we feel toward a partner. But we are also passionate about many other things in our lives. Experience your particular passions on Valentine’s Day by doing one of more of the following: 1.      - Play your favorite sport, hard 2.      - Listen to your favorite band, loud 3.      - Eat your favorite food, savor 4.      - Read your favorite book, cover to cover 5.      - If you enjoyed it as a kid, do it